Congressional Peccadillos

Remember Anthony Wiener and Larry Craig?  The Supreme Court says you can contribute more than most houses are worth to influence the outcome of the campaigns of clowns like this.

Wiener (an unfortunate name)

Rose to (embarrassing) fame

When he posted arousal

(on-line, non spousal)

With a selfie as proof of his claim.

Larry Craig sat down in the airport.

When arrested for soliciting sport

He claimed the issue

Was an absence of tissue

He was merely signaling for it.

Slice of Life

I am always hoping I can find a way to eat what I want (take a bigger slice) and not gain weight.

A new diet cookbook?  I’ll buy it.

A new approach to weight loss?  I’ll try it.

But I procrastinate

So I don’t lose much weight

I call it the “next week” diet.

My college class asked for a few paragraphs describing what I have been doing since the last reunion. 

My summary is going to be short,

There’s really not much to report

Same job, same address

Same activities, more or less

Getting older and trying to ignore it. 

In memoriam

This is dedicated to Richard, Jim, Stu, Allen, Irving, Sally, Kathy, Kevin, and so many others who made this world a great place to live...

I now read obituaries every day

Each friend’s passing brings new dismay.

Dear friends, listen to me!

If you crave publicity

I want you to find a better way.

Just to be Clear

Most feedback on my limericks has been positive, but I’ve been told "keep your day job", and "don't expect be the poet laureate".  

Getting laughs is my prime motivation

I have never sought laureatification

If nominated I’ll decline

Appointed I’ll resign

But I’d gladly accept remuneration.

Is This You?

Are your taxes still on your mind

Do you want them finished and signed

But in all that mess

That covers your desk

Is a receipt you still need to find?

Senior Moment

A recent article gave seniors some credit

We have so much in our head it

May take a while

To find the right file

I just can’t recall where I read it.

Money = Speech?

It’s not a mathematical identity.

The Supreme Court stretched logic to reach

The conclusion that money is speech

Isn’t it funny

That speech is not money?

If we paid them with talk they would screech.

You pay sales tax and sales commission when you by a car or a house.

You can now buy your own politician

Thanks to their latest decision.

The Court had a chance

To bring the budget in balance

By imposing a stiff sales commission.

Or do they have a different agenda in mind?

Is the Court really doing their best

To solve the campaign financing mess?

With the most recent suit

They’ve taken the route

Of trying to privatize Congress.

The Affordable Healthcare Deadline

The website was a disaster, but ...

At the end they enrolled in a burst

Seven million bought insurance by the first

Many signed up freely

For their own policy

While others are feeling coerced.

... and then there are some of us who think there is a better way.

We pay dearly to be doctored and nursed

Though our system is far from the worst

We spend more on healthcare

Than most countries out there

Yet in longevity we rank fifty first.