Thanks, That Was Great

She entered the room fully dressed
And exposed her thighs and her breast
In a lust induced trance
I loosened my pants
And ate the turkey with zest.

You tell someone 'Get Stuffed' if you're mad
Call them Turkey if their performance is sad
Is it the other way
On Thanksgiving Day
Or is stuffed turkey good enough to be Bad?

Are You a Football Fan?

Big guys who make a very good living pushing people around seem to think it should work off the field too.

It’s football season again

Violent, semi-organized mayhem

Hit, block and bruise

Are the skills that they use

On the field, and back home with their women.

I have always wondered how the refs can be sure exactly where forward progress stopped when there are 6 or 8 guys in a pile.  It just might be possible that the ball moved while they were unpiling.

The referee’s first down decision

Measured with absolute precision

With the ball buried deep

Under men in a heap

Means the refs must have X ray vision.

Shyness

Would I feel so awkward if I called it diffidence or reserve?

Whenever I meet someone new

After Hello and How Do You Do?

My shyness starts showing

Ideas stop flowing

It’s an impasse I would love to get through.

It shuts down part of my brain 

Just talking becomes a real strain

There’s a total reduction

Of verbal production;

I’m afraid I’ll say something inane.

Occasionally the inner ham sneaks out:  ( http://youtu.be/nEBynfj5LeA )

Miscellany

On noting people’s accomplishments before it’s too late.

Obituaries are usually very

Appreciative, but death is necessary.

It’s a shame that the dead

Never learn what’s been said,

But death puts the Bitch in obituary.

Keep voting and Carry on!

When I think - Oh I’ve survived this before -

Sometimes the thought helps restore

Strength to endure

Other times I’m not sure

If I can take this stuff any more.

 Real Politics, Unreal Politicians

The last generation of Conservatives would now seem liberal.

My reaction to the elections this Fall

Is fear, disgust and appall

Reagan seems saner

When compared to John Boehner

And McConnell makes Nixon look liberal.

And those are the moderates.

Then there are Inhofe and Cruz

Who claim Climate Change is a ruse

Their logic's unreliable

They may not be certifiable

But they don’t have many screws left to lose.

Roughly 37% of all eligible voters voted.  If even 60% of them voted Republican (I checked the Senate races and the votes were 51% R, 46% D and 3% Other) then only 22% of eligible voters voted for the people who control the Senate (53% of the Senate) and the House (57% of the House).

The Dark Side

We set our clocks forward in spring

When light lingered late in the evening

We find in the fall

We’ve squandered it all;

The daylight we thought we were saving.

My yoga teacher says we need to learn to ‘embrace the darkness’.  That’s a real stretch.

The days are too short for my taste

Afterwork daylight’s been erased

The sun cuts back its hours

And my mood often sours

Will the darkness lighten if embraced?

Post Election Depression

Mitch McConnell says Republicans have an 'obligation' to cooperate with Obama?

McConnell says its time to dispel

Tactics to make Obama’s life hell

After six years of obstruct

He’s got business to conduct

And an old bridge in Brooklyn to sell.

Eliot Cutler was asked by the Democrats to run on their ticket, but he declined, making it a 3 way disaster.

Eliot Cutler tried to take center stage

But his grandstanding created outrage

He’s no Angus King 

And his ‘Independent’ thing

Has given us eight years of LePage.

Which is Scarier?

Have you ever thought about the similarities between Halloween and Election Day?  

On Halloween kids disguise themselves in order to get treats, and if you can’t see through their disguise - they win.

For Election Day politicians disguise their threats and promise treats, and if you can’t see through their disguise - they win.

Costumed children are out on the streets

Threatening tricks but hoping for sweets

Do people recognize

The politicians in disguise

Glibly promising everyone treats?

At Halloween children are wary

Of goblins and a ghoulish menagerie

But for adults

The election results

Could be even more scary.

I seem to write about politics frequently, despite the advice to write about what you know.

For almost 10 months I’ve been host

Writing new limericks to post

Although I try

Some ideas won’t die

And resurface like a Halloween ghost.